You want to talk to me?

I recently received an email from a colleague at a similar Arts Organization; she wants to meet me over coffee to talk about ways to improve their membership program. I read the email twice, yep it says me, yep she says someone told her to contact me, yep she wants MY expertise.

I am having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that, someone possibly my age or only a few years younger than me, wants to get my expert advice, specially because I don't feel like an expert. I guess I am stuck in the word expertise, which is something difficult for me to associate with since I am new to the field. Really you want to talk to ME?

It is silly for me to feel inadequate and to wrongfully assume that peers can't provide mentorship to one another. In fact, this reminded of a panel I attended at the Emerging Arts Professionals, "Omni-Directional Mentorship: Going Beyond Yoda", which aimed conversation at redefining traditional concepts of mentorship and stressing the importance of of mentoring at every level: senior to junior, junior to senior and peer to peer.

I can do this....

Ok, I am feeling a bit more confident now "I can be a peer to peer mentor." But even the word mentor scares me. I guess part of me worries that the information I can provide is less than perfect; that when asked for solutions, for a path to creating a membership program I will choke. This fear stems in part due to the fact that I am a newbie, but mostlty because I have done all my work on a basis of trial and error. How do you teach that? How do you say - while sounding like a competent professional, there is no clear formula/ recipe I used on my job, I just tossed a bunch of stuff around and came out with this?

I know it seems silly to worry about not being helpful to someone who is asking for a favor and probably doesn't expect much in return; but I believe that thinking about my position in the field (definitely emerging), and my knowledge base is a good thing, and since receiving the email, I've been doing just that. I have been thinking more in depth about what I do and have done, and this has helped me tremendously, not only to prepare for the meeting, but also to, in spite of my age and position, feel good about myself.

I recommend this little internal exercise to everybody, regardless of industry and age. Analyze what you do, ask yourself why you do it, think about things you have done that made you proud, and things you have done that no one else in your position would have done. Asking myself these questions made me feel confident and happy, and I think these are important "pats in the back", celebrations that both emerging and established workers need to move forward.

Is Social Media Creating Community or Destroying it?

About 2 months ago, I found someone on my Facebook "friends" list and I had no idea who they were. Of course, I did what any sensible 20 something would do: I virtually stalked them. I went through all their photos and friends and after almost 10 minutes, I was still scratching my head "who is this?" After much thought, I remembered we once had a French class Junior Year. Wow, I never talked to this person, and now thanks to Facebook, I know almost too much about their life and interests, all without even having one single meaningful conversation with them. This is creepy and sad.

I realized then, that I have a handful of people in my "friend" list whose life I follow tangentially and who only exist to me online. These are not long lost friends who live far and with whom I communicate online because its easier no, these are people who I couldn't care less about, whose lives I follow merely because of curiosity and who I would never meet for coffee, because I have better things to do. Again, this is sad. I could seriously never leave my room, never have a "real" conversation with these people and still somehow magically be tunned to their lives and have them magically tunned into mine (tho if I was locked in a room it wouldn't be much of a life). In this way, in spite of being all alone in a room I would never really feel lonely, because I would have an online community to keep me company; but is that really community?

Now, I am not saying Facebook is the devil, nor am I saying that online relationships are wrong. I love Facebook and all social media for that fact. Love it! Mostly for its capability to keep me close to Friends and loved ones, but is Facebook making me lazy? Is it making me neglect relationships because I can "like" a post in 2 seconds and feel "in touch," comment on a photo instead of making a phone call and chatting instead of going to get coffee?

I guess what social media is doing is redefining the idea of community, but is that a good thing? Are virtual communities and relationships just as satisfying as real ones? Are virtual communities replacing "real" communities?

I think Facebook can replace real communities and real relationships if we let it. The possibility that an online platform can take the place of real life is all in our hands, and for my part, I much rather find out about someone's life through a long a meaningful conversation, and have coffee with a true friend than poke them on Facebook. However, my virtual community is indeed making me lazy, I know that the easy access to my friends is making me forget that I do miss them and that I do want to pick up the phone and talk to them, and that although browsing through their vacation photos make me feel as if I was there, that, will never replace the feeling of them explaining to me what that vacation was like.

I think social media is both creating and destroying community, but the power of sites such as Facebook lay in the hand of the users. I for one will not let Facebook replace my relationships, but will rather use it to enhance them.

After my run in with that mystery "friend" I deleted all those whose relation to me was superficial at best, and I am making coffee and phone dates. I want community in real life, and its up to me to get it.